With it being 5 years ago that my mom passed away, I thought I could sit down and think of some of the memories I have of her, and things that we did. I remember a few things, like her mashed potatoes, or her obsession with soap operas (All My Children, One Life to Live, and General Hospital only). I remember her always on the phone with my grandma, and going grocery shopping.
But I don’t remember much.
I’m afraid that my memories of her are fading, and I’m scared. I can’t remember what it’s like to hug her, or what she smells like. I can remember telling her I was pregnant, but I don’t remember the look on her face.
What do you do when memories fade? What CAN you do?
Today is a hard day for me. I thought maybe I could busy myself with work, and find something fun to do. All I want to do is cry. I want one of those cookies that you get in the bulk section of the grocery store. You know the ones. There are several varieties, and they are in plastic bins. You purchase them by the pound, so you can mix them up. My mom used to buy them all the time. I remember coming home from kindergarten, grabbing three or four (almost always the chocolate chip sandwich cookies with chocolate cream in the middle), stretching out on her big bed, and watching afternoon cartoons. I will confess that I walk past them at the one grocery store here that sells them, and breathe in their scent. It reminds me of her, it reminds me of childhood.
When a loved one passes, how do you keep their memory alive?
Thanks for coming back! I hope you join the conversation and leave a comment or two!
I remember my mom even more now that I am a mom. I imply all the things she taught me, to my own family. Cooking meals at home, sitting together as a family and eating, Saturday’s being “cleaning” day, some of her discipline is applied. I’ve sat Luke on my lap with a picture of my mom in my hand and said “Luke, this is your grandma, who loves you more than life itself. She wants you to know she’s your guardian angel”. There are pictures of my mom up around the house! It helps because people/family/friends see the pics of my mom and ask questions about her, then I get the opportunity to talk about her! Making my mom’s recipes, and the smell of them while cooking, always is a comfort for me!
Some memories fade, and new ones will pop in your mind as you get older. I can’t remember what it’s like to hug my mom, or even what she smelled like either. I know that new memories come to me when I see Luke do things or I do things with Luke that my mom did with me. Write memories down if you are afraid of them entirely disappearing. Share with Brenden or Ian the memory you think of when it comes to mind. That always helps me. It’s been 11yrs since my mom passed away and its just as painful today as it was 11yrs ago. *hugs*
You keep their memory alive by doing exactly what you are doing. Memories don’t truly go away….they fade but they are always there to be called up when needed. Reliving the happy moments you shared with your mom either by yourself or with your kids help keep the memories more clear. It also lets you share some of your loved one with your kids.
I too have been reliving memories lately because yesterday was my moms birthday. She passed almost 12 years ago from lung cancer. My father followed her 4 1/2 years ago. I miss them. I hate that my youngest daughter never knew my mother and is too young to remember my father. Their faces are dimming in my memory but the love they gave me and the things they taught me are alive and well.
Make that 5 1/2 years ago that my daddy passed away. Man, time goes too quickly…it’s amazing really how you manage to continue to live your life after losing someone close to you…but I know it would have been harder without good memories.
Now I know who ate all the good ones!
Grabbing the big box of pictures always helps me. Just random things though out the day remind me of her. Doesn’t help that we have her genes and we look like her..short and stocky. :P So looking in the mirror I always see her looking back at me.
I love my lil sis!
I miss my father too. He passed away from cancer over 3 years ago. I have vivid pictures of him in my head from when he was almost gone. I hate that. I helped my mom care for him for 8 months before he died.
Ten years before he died he had a heart attack that almost killed him. From that point on, he got healthy. I remember him doing alot of walking in the mornings and eating oatmeal. And he made my mom rid the house of “crap” he would call it. And he went back to church and had 10 really really good years.