Flashback Friday came to me when I was looking for a piece of information in a long-forgotten online diary. I started to read through the old entries, laughing and crying, and it dawned on me, “How neat would it be to share all of this?!”. I plan to share several of these entries, but also posts about childhood memories, photographs, song lyrics and what they meant to me, etc.
I would love for you to take part! Every Friday you will be able to come to the newest post and enter your link to share! Go ahead and grab the button to let your readers know you are taking part!
Thanks to up and coming graphic designer, Mara Gillott, for creating the button!
Here’s my first flashback!
- – - – - – October 21st, 2004 – - – - -
To all of you who do care, and who have the decency to be concerned, my mother is dieing. The nurses have been here all day, my dad came home from work, both grandmas are here… she’s so weak. Her breathing is so messed up. The doctor discontinued ALL of her medicines, and she is now only taking the pain relief ones. They say it could be any day…any time of time. Uhm…yea… this isn’t fair. I hate all you with a mother. I’m losing mine. My child will be born without oner of his/her grandma’s. I’m losing the person who gave life to me, who raised me, who disciplined me, who made me the person I am today. I’m losing someone strong, courageous, beautiful, and someone I love. Please…right now… go hug your mom. You have no idea what it is like to see your mother just laying in bed…not moving…almost dead. You don’t want to see it, and I hope you never have to. Just please…cherish the ones you have. They can be taken from you at any time.
I’m not sure when the next time I write in here will be. I’m surprised I’m even sitting here right now, clicking away. This isn’t fair, and I just want my mom. I don’t know how I’m going to raise a child and live on my own and not be able to call my mom to ask for something. I just want to curl into a little ball, and take away all her pain. Just put the pain on me.
My appointment went great. Got some vitamins, a bunch of stuff to read, and that stuff. My next appt in next week with the nurse-midwife. Not sure what she’ll do, but the first ultrasound won’t be for another 10-12 weeks. This is long…and I need to lay down for a little. I was up all night. There are so many things I want to write about though… maybe some other time. My grandma wants to talk to Ian and I together… and I’m not going to gaurantee anything, but I bet we’ll be getting married soon (before my mom passes) so my mom knows that I’m taken care of, and that I’ll be fine and with someone I love. I have to go… I’m crying too much.
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