The Mamavation campaign is over?! What?! It feels like it just started!
This past week was one of those “say what?!” weeks. On Wednesday, we were in a car accident, and that night I was incredibly emotional and stressed. That leads to eating junk and just being a bump. Then Thursday, I did the same thing. I was stressed and just turned to the comfort foods. I feel really bad. At the time, sure, it felt great to stuff my face, but then after I knew what I had done. I was actually aware of my emotional eating, and I know exactly what caused it. I’m working on that. Emotional eating, but choosing healthier options. It’s okay to pig out on nuts, or veggies, or fruits, just not ice cream, cookies, and brownies.
I have no idea what my ending weight is, and I feel like I let people down. All of the people who have been coming and reading and commenting, I feel like I’ve let you down. I haven’t been the motivational person, or the inspiration that you came to read about. I’m still the lazy person. I’m still making the wrong choices, and letting my emotions and stress get the best of me.
But you know what? I’ve tried. I’m not DONE trying! I am going to continue making the small changes and holding myself accountable for my choices and actions. I’m not going to let an end date for a campaign stop me. I may not be losing weight consistently, I may not be inspiring others and getting all sorts of congratulatory comments and tweets, but I’m trying.
I know what I need to do, and I just need to focus. I’ve had problems with focusing in the past, otherwise I’d already be at a healthy weight! I have some good tools under my belt, I have the support of everyone involved in Mamavation, so I can do this.
The next campaign starts in January. Can you believe that it’s almost 2010? At this point, I have decided that YES I will apply again to be a Mamavation mom. Depending on what happens with trying for another child, I will apply. If we do get pregnant, then I will cheer from the sidelines and participate in some healthy pregnancy choices! Lots of water, healthy foods, and exercises safe for pregnancy!
Here’s to the rest of the month, the year 2010, and the rest of our lives!
{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }
Miss Mandi!! You know what? You ARE inspiring and YOU are real! You are open and honest and not sugar coating this journey which is so very hard! I’m proud of you and everything you have taught me, which is truth perserverance and the will to keep doing this!
I heart you:-))
.-= Trayce´s last blog ..Sexy in 6?… =-.
I totally agree with Trayce! You *are* an inspiration – and I can relate so much more with a person who isn’t perfect. I’m right there with you – making a few steps forward, and a few steps back. It is difficult sometimes, but you keep pushing – and that makes you one strong and tough mama!
Yep agree with Tracey and Mandy…inspiration you are indeed!
wE CAN and we WILL succeed!
we will be here cheering you on!!! sending you the pregnancy vibes! how exciting!!! You’ve done awesome. Keep it up :)
.-= mommy-momo´s last blog ..The cure to my headache. =-.
Hey you know it’s perfectly okay to exercise during pregnancy..in fact, it’s encouraged. I was doing Tae Bo until two weeks before I delivered…I know crazy, but you don’t need to be like that. I’m just saying it’s entirely possible.
You aren’t allowed to get down on yourself. Yes, you suffer from emotional eating. You could possibly have an eating disorder like me. I do exactly what you said. I still do emotional eating, but I changed what I eat now, so that my moments of weakness don’t derail me from my goals. But the biggest thing is you have to outsmart yourself BEFORE it happens and take precautions now. That way, when you do get to a moment of weakness, you can’t screw everything up. It’s different for everyone, but we will be here when you need us as a shoulder to lean on. XXOO
First off, hope you guys aren’t confused… not pregnant YET, just if it happens before applications are due, I won’t be applying. But thanks for the vibes, maybe you are all psychic :-P
Leah – I was thinking that when I DO get pregnant, I want to do things like yoga, pilates, walking, biking. I guess it’s that fear that I might contribute to anything going wrong, or having another child with unexplained special needs, that I want to keep it light and really health-conscious. I’ve already been talking about going organic when I do get pregnant, and just having a really natural pregnancy and even labor and delivery.
I am not letting the end of the campaign be the end of my journey. I have a lot to learn, and a lot to change about my lifestyle. The “IF I get pregnant” and “WHEN I get pregnant” are just bridges that I will cross and learn some new things and change some things around again. I want that to happen, but I also want to be healthy. Taking part in this campaign has helped me mentally allow myself to let go of those baby dreams that I held onto so tightly, and refocus onto health.
Unfortunately because of your BMI you are more likely to have complications if you don’t lose weight. There have been studies just recently published that suggest that women who are obese can maintain the same weight and not affect the baby because the baby saps of your body and takes nutrients before YOU get any. What that means is those moms didn’t gain any weight during pregnancy and had less complications than other obese moms. This is very new research, so I wouldn’t base any decisions on it, but what it does tell me is your body will be a safer vessel if you exercise and eat a “clean” diet: organic foods, no preservatives, no soda, etc. So I would defiantly start exercising NOW if you are planning on getting pregnant. It will be that much easier to continue when you are pregnant.
Also, don’t wait until you purchase a piece of equipment before you start exercising. That is just delaying things. You’ll never do it and then when you get the equipment, you won’t use it. Start today. :)
Please don’t beat yourself up. It happens to all of us. I know I am an emotional eater but I know that exercise elevates my mood so if I feel like reaching for ice cream I throw in wii Squash which challenges me and makes me feel good.
.-= Renee´s last blog ..Operation Weight Loss Wk 2 =-.