Losing A Friend

For the past few days, I have been dealing with some mental health issues and some emotional health issues. It’s been a tough week in the friendship department, and I really wanted to get my thoughts out days ago. Out of respect, I delayed my post about everything.

I can’t delay anymore.

I am a victim of friendship loss. For the second time. For the second, stupid, immature reason. I am at this point in my life where the “high school drama” should be long gone. I graduated four years ago, and when I did, I thought I had left behind all of that. I find it incredibly amusing that this “drama” is still around. Can we please, oh, please stop with it already??

With respect in mind, I will not reveal details about the situation, not the specifics. Here’s what I can say… my best friend of about two and a half years and I hit a road block. We came to a disagreement, I suppose, over something. I shared my thoughts and feelings about it, which were not well-received. After taking a step back and looking at the situation from a different perspective, I realized I could move on from it. This realization took a few days. I had a few days between the initial disagreement and this realization that involved a lot of soul searching and depression.

I eventually swallowed my pride (after figuring out that she was pregnant by playing connect the dots), apologized for what I said, and hoped for the best.

She says we can’t just bounce back from this, that there’s something deeper…

So fine. To me, this was closure. This was writing “…” and closing the book. No “The End”, or “To Be Continued…” because who knows? Is it really the end? Will it be pieced back together later down the road? I have no idea.

I said what I said, and I did what I did. That’s the beset I can do. After getting her response back, I felt this enormous rush of emotions. But only for a brief moment. Then I felt relieved. I felt invigorated, I felt pleased, I was amused and shocked. It was incredible! Since then, I have been enjoying some amazing days! I’ve been enjoying my son, enjoying my husband, and just enjoying my life.

If the friendship really truly is over, this is the second friendship that’s been lost. Wounds take time to heal, but I think I’m off to a great start. I think this time will be different, or atleast I hope so.

We’ll see how this story plays out. Right now, however, I feel great. I feel like I’m right where I should be, and I have a lot to look forward to!